Dark scenery with magical castle and mountain

What If…?

Writing Prompt: What if the Princess wants to be with Bowser but Mario keeps Kidnapping her?

A Different Perspective

The first time I met Bowser, I’ll admit,  I was completely overwhelmed. I mean, I was walking peacefully in the gardens of mushroom kingdom when, out of nowhere, a large and demanding figure loomed over me. There were three things that I could tell about him immediately. First and foremost, while he looked fierce, he definitely had a softer side. This was made obvious when he addressed me with all of the formalities that are expected when addressing a princess. Secondly, the Koopa knew how to accessorize. He was wearing matching armbands and a choker. Finally, he was horny… and by that I mean he was covered in horns. When Bowser inquired about my relationship status, I told him about Mario. I’ll never forget what he said next, “Do you want a knight in shining armor or a king who needs no armor?” It was at this point when Bowser “kidnapped” me. He insisted that he would make a better partner and that in time I would agree.

I had plenty of time to consider his views while waiting for Mario to save me. Bowser had quite a few positive qualities going for him. He was royalty, King of the Koopas, and as a king he was incredibly wealthy. During my time with Bowser I visited at least eight castles. The closest thing to a title that Mario had was a nickname, “Jumpman,” and he shared an apartment with his brother. Bowser had goals. He explained that he intended to conquer the mushroom kingdom. While I couldn’t condone him conquering my kingdom, I could appreciate his ambition. Mario, on the other hand, seemed content with simply being a plumber.

My time in Bowser’s care wasn’t as dark and dismal as people have made it sound. Sure, he kept me in a cage sometimes, but that was for my own protection. There were lava pits and angry monsters all over the place. So when Bowser was out adventuring I would hang out in the cage and wait for his return. It gave me time to think and I came to realize that Mario had a ton of flaws. I didn’t mind that he was short and pudgy and he had an odor to him that was reminiscent of the sewers of which he spent many hours within. But, we couldn’t go anywhere without the third wheel, a.k.a. Luigi. Did I mention the other women? I was competing with Pauline and Princess Daisy for his attention. He clearly has a thing for damsels in distress that borders on White Knight Syndrome. I was able to look past all of that, but the issue that really changed my mind about Mario was his addiction to shrooms. The man would eat shrooms, dress up like a furry, then claim he could spit fireballs and fly.

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