The cooking spit in a tavern.

Meet the Master of the Bucket

Hail, fair traveler. Find yourself a chair and be careful not to slip on the wet floor. I wasn’t expecting people until a little later, so I thought I could, perhaps, abstain from mopping it clean until I was in a more servile mood. It seems I misjudged. While you await your food, let me introduce myself, if it please you.

At the moment, I am merely the Master of this Bucket of soap suds you see before you. When my debt is paid, I will once again be Bimly of the Mountains, sworn scholar of inked parchment, sacred dice, and the strange visions that dance across our plug-in mirrors. To prove my wisdom, I will give you the most certain advice I have recently discovered: Firstly, even if you do not intend to pay for a meal, it is only good sense to limit your imbibing of mead, if not only to ensure your retreat is as expeditious as possible. Secondly, and I cannot understate this, do not force a free meal in a tavern full of sell-swords, heroes, and staff that have slew more dragons than you’ve had biscuits.

Tips would be appreciated, by the way.

Leaning on the verisimilitude a bit, I’ve been gaming, reading, and otherwise enjoying fantasy stories since I was a six-year old watching Rankin/Bass’s The Hobbit (I would recommend checking out that movie if you haven’t. Smaug is a lizard-cat thing and Gollum looks like a dead fish). However, until I left high school, my exploration into fantasy stories was limited to mainstream works. Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Harry Potter was and is my foundation for the fantasy genre.

Once I entered high school, I started playing Pathfinder with people who soon became my best friends and got in the habit of experimenting with genre when reading and playing video games. Even though my childhood wasn’t enriched by a diverse portfolio of fantasy stories, I still ended up learning a lot about storytelling from teachers, parents, and other writers, and the potential of fantastical settings has always fascinated me. Other than playing/researching a cascade of RPGs and other games with fantasy settings, I enjoy reading works by Clark Ashton Smith, Howard Phillips Lovecraft, and (currently) Clive I-don’t-have-a-middle-name Barker.

I’ll likely be writing about narrative trends and tropes in fantasy games, stories, and films, although if I get struck by inspiration I’ll be sure to chuck it at your heads too.

Anyway, I have floors to polish and some rats to humanely pulverize the basement. I look forward to amusing you with my, uh, musings.

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